Tag Archive | funny

Funny Story

I won a copy of “The Mum Who Roared”  by Christie Nicholas in an online competition a while ago, and it finally arrived yesterday. After only a few pages, I was laughing and was able to nod my head in agreement. I highly recommend this book.

A couple of chapters in, I came across something I had to share.

Get a copy! It's a great read!

Funny Story about Motherhood (by anon.)

Your clothes:

1st Baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your ob/gyn confirms your pregnancy.

2nd Baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd Baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

 

Preparing for the birth:

1st Baby: You practise your breathing religiously.

2nd Baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd Baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

 

The layette:

1st Baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, colour co-ordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd Baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard the one with the darkest stains.

3rd Baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

 

Worries:

1st Baby: At the first sign of distress- a whimper, a frown- you pick up the baby.

2nd Baby: You pick up the baby when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd Baby: You teach your three-year-old who to rewind the mechanical swing.

 

Dummy:

1st Baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash it and boil it.

2nd Baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd Baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

 

Nappies:

1st Baby: You change your baby’s nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd Baby: You change your baby’s nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd Baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

 

Activities:

1st Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing and Baby Story Hour.

2nd Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd Baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

 

Going out:

1st Baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd Baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd Baby: You leave instruction for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

 

At home:

1st Baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd Baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.

3rd Baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

 

Swallowing Coins:

1st Baby: When your first child swallows a coin, you rush to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd Child: When the second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd Child: When the third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

 

Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did!

Bella 🙂

 

 

Advertisements

Secret boys business

Toilet training has been a slow progress in this house with the development delays.

 Our eldest son didn’t become toilet trained until he was five and a half years old, and only becoming dry at night in the last few months.

Our daughter became day trained when she was about four (she is now four and a half) and we are still working on night dryness.

Our middle son, who is three and a half is absolute petrified of the toilet, but having a potty for him to sit on the floor hasn’t been a practical thing in the house until recently, as our two-year old now tries to use it (instead of crawling all over whoever was sitting on it)

But last night, we had a development…

I had to giggle when my eldest son took my middle son to the toilet. The door was firmly shut in my face after my eldest determinedly said to me “I’ll do it”. For the next few minutes, all I heard was instructions of how to pull down pants, take off a nappy, climb on the toilet…and then the grunting I could hear after that….well, you can imagine what was trying to be explained there!!!

I popped my head in to make sure everything was ok, only to get shooed out by the two of them.

After a few more minutes, out walked two little boys, both wearing proud smiles. I have no idea if anything happened.

I wasnt even allowed to assist in putting a nappy back on. The eldest’s brotherly duties also extended to that job too!

If this will work though, I’m not going to intrude on their little “club!”

Keep your fingers crossed as we wish them luck!

Bella 🙂