Tag Archive | love

Open letter to my friends

To my friends (you know who you are!),

I am sorry that we don’t get to catch up very often. I honestly miss the moments we have together, whether they are coffee or wine infused! I had to write today though to express who much I love, respect, thank and even miss you!

Friends come and go. But the ones who stick with you during the hard periods, they are the special kind.

When I had my first child just as we hit our 20’s, you were the ones who realised that I couldn’t drop everything  and come to a last-minute party, or go to the pubs, anymore.
You still made the effort to include us in your lives.

Thank you for making the effort to catch up despite my hectic life!

Thank you for making the effort to catch up despite my hectic life!

When more children came along, and it was even harder for us to have a night out, you didn’t ignore us/drop us, you still invited us to barbeques, included my children, or said “So you have the kids at home today? We will come to your house then for coffee!”
You even visited when I was in hospital after giving birth. Outside of family, not many friends actually visited, I don’t think you realise how special that made me feel!

When our lives became more difficult due to the fact special needs cropped up, again, instead of walking away from our friendship, you said “What can I do to help?” or “How are things going at the moment?”

You take a genuine interest in our struggles and our lives. You want to help. I recognise that!

When we come to your house, you see that I am worried about my kids running riot and trashing your house. You make us feel welcome, accomodate us and tell me “It’s ok!” when my kids have made themselves at home and made a mess of your living room.

I know you don't mind too much, but I don't want to trash your houses!

I know you don’t mind too much, but I don’t want to trash your houses!

You make sure that my youngest son is allowed to have something to eat, before you hand it over, just because of his medical condition. You are aware of the need for this.

You drag me away from the kids if you see me hovering over them, and tell me I am supposed to be enjoying myself when I am at a party. You remind me that it is ok to release my control and anxieties.

You understand that it can be a long time between catch ups because I am busy with work and/or child responsibilities. You work around it, and you dont judge me for it, and you don’t forget about me.

You have no idea how much I love and respect you for the support you constantly give me and my family. My love and respect grow every time you interact with my special needs children. When my children show you something, you act like it is the coolest thing you have ever seen! You don’t ignore them and fob them off. My middle son, Ethan, has a hard time opening up to adults, yet I have memories where I watched in amazement, where he would sit in your laps, open up, and not want to leave your sides. You made him feel loved and secure. I don’t think you realise how much of a rare event this is, or what you did for him in that moment!

There are bad experiences online, but I am lucky enough to find great friends online

There are bad experiences online, but I am lucky enough to find great friends online

To my online friends- although we have never officially met in person, I hope to one day. Some of you I have known for almost eight years. We have laughed together, cried together, shared tips and advice. When my children with born, you rejoiced- sending me messages and gift of congratulations. The horrible period when my youngest, Cameron, was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, it was the first time that any of us had been diagnosed with a serious condition. I contacted some of you to spread the news. Little did I know, you all rallied together, chipped in some cash, and sent Cam and I a care package of flowers, a teddy and much need chocolate to the hospital. I cried when it arrived. I felt loved and thought of. While I am no longer in contact with some of you, I still respect you for the friendship you extended to me.
One day, I will meet you, but in the meantime, you know that you can contact me, good or bad, about anything. Despite not officially meeting, I still consider you some of my best friends. I hope you feel the same way about me!

To my husband’s friends- I love and respect you for when you call and my husband isn’t available, and you will spend at least half an hour just chatting with me, asking about me (or Mark) and how our kids are, how life is travelling (instead of just saying that you will call back later.) Or when we are actually managed to catch up, you will actually sit next to me and chat.
I have immense respect for the fact that you seem to actually like me for who I am ( not just as your mate’s partner) and take a genuine interest in our children and our lives. Both Mark and I express our regrets that we can’t catch up nearly enough! 😦
I feel like a terrible friend because we don’t catch up often enough, and I can’t possibly return the sentiments that you give. I can only try! I honestly don’t feel like I have articulated well enough how I am really feeling, but I hope you are starting to get
I don’t tell you often enough, and I can’t express enough, but thank you, and I love you!

Bella 🙂
xxxx

Angels in disguise

All parents, especially mothers, have a few fears when their children start school. Will they be able to make new friends? Will they be able to handle the school work? Will they cope?
All these fears are heightened when you have a child with special needs.

It has been four years since my eldest son, Aaron, first walked through the school room doors.

My eldest son, Aaron, who is now almost 8y/o, This photo was taken at Christmas, 2012

My eldest son, Aaron, who is now almost 8y/o, This photo was taken at Christmas, 2012

Actually, it was the second time. The previous year, we had tried to enroll him in kindergarten at private school. But after one half day, they pointed out all his development issues (I was trying to bury my head in the sand at the time, hoping he would just “catch up” once he was around kids his own age) He spent the entire morning in a violent meltdown, which was extreme and common at that time. When I went to pick him up, the teacher told me, quite abruptly, that we needed to see a speech therapist, an occupational therapist and we needed to see our doctor to get a referral to see a pediatrician, and that they could no longer take him in until he was fully toilet trained, which beforehand, they told me wouldn’t be a problem. (We later pulled him from that school completely)
I drove home that day crying my eyes out. That was when I realised how big of an issue we had on our hands. That is when our battles began (but that is another long story)

I was advised that public schooling was the best option for us, as they get more funding for children with special needs than private schools do.

When he started pre-primary, at a new school, we were armed with the Global Development Delay diagnosis, which made him eligible for an aide until he turned seven years old. There was only enough funding for an aide for one full day, and three half days. His aide, to say the least, was an ANGEL who was good at hiding her wings! She basically toilet trained him (which just was NOT happening at home), set up all the tools to help him settle in and learn, and dealt with his frequent and extreme meltdowns with a level head. She was amazing!

But she is not the inspiration behind this post (though she does deserve a gushing one of her own!) 

No, this post is dedicated to the other students that were in his class that year. They accepted Aaron for who he was, and the dramas that surrounded him, with open arms. They helped to guide him to make correct decisions in social aspects. They would whisper hints to help him with his school work (which was heavily simplified for him due to his learning ability) They would encourage him to join in their lunch-time games, despite the fact he rarely did.
The best thing they did, was that they accepted, without judgement and ridicule.

I know a lot of this happened because the teachers would tell me about it. Unfortunately, because I had three younger children still at home, was working hard to get our cleaning business off the ground (which, really, is unimportant to this story), plus still living in a “bubble world” in terms of my youngest son’s cystic fibrosis diagnosis…I was unable to volunteer as a parent helper in the classroom to witness this more personally.

But there came a day when I did witness this beautiful wonder of these amazingly accepting and helpful children.

Despite not being able to help out in the class room, I still made it to every “Parent Day” and carnival. This particular day, the children were doing an Obstacle-a-thon, which was three laps around an obstacle course in the pre-primary area. The children fundraised through their laps, to raise money for the pre-primary area funds.

Aaron during his Obstacle-a-thon in 2010

Aaron during his Obstacle-a-thon in 2010

I brought along my daughter, Eva (who was four years old at the time, and we were beginning to realise at that time she also had Global Development Delay) and my youngest son, Cameron, who slept in the pram almost the entire time…(Ethan, my middle son was sick at home with my husband that day.)

My daughter joined in on the fun with the other students. After the laps were completed, there was a picnic lunch for parents and students. As we sat, my children had a packed lunchbox ready to devour.
As I dealt with Cameron, who had awoken and wanted a bottle, I looked over and saw that Eva was struggling to open her yoghurt and other sealed goodies. She was becoming a little upset (a reminder, this was around the age that her food compulsion was at its highest peak.) I was just about to put Cameron down and move over to help her, when one of the boys in Aaron’s class, leant over and opened all the food for her. When one of the other student asked something about (the exact words asked escape me now), this particular child replied “It’s ok! It’s Aaron’s sister, and she is just like Aaron!”

“Oh….ok then!” (continues to eat his own lunch)

There were no stares at her behaviour. No sniggers. No rude comments.

Just kind, helpful natures, and an awareness beyond their years.

These boys…no…ALL the children in this class were accepting and willing to bend over backwards to help a fellow student/child to develop and grow in their own way.

I sat back in shock and amazement. I drove home in tears again…happy ones this time…at how lucky my son was to be around such awesome kids. My fears of my special needs son not ever being able to make friends flew out the window! Later on in life, I hope realises how special these friends are/were.

I wish I could say that the rest of his schooling years have been as smooth and accepting as this. Aaron has had his fair share of bullying since starting primary school (and things went downhill, fast, once the funding ran out for his aid…however, that’s another story for another day) However, he has always had a few of the students from his pre-primary year in his classrooms. These students have continued to protect, encourage and nourish Aaron over the last two and a bit years.

To these students, you will probably never know how much love I have for you for being so amazing to my son. You have helped model him into who he is today, whether he will ever realise it or not, and I don’t think you will ever realise what you did for him.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!! You are truly amazing kids. You will make your parents proud and I am positive you will grow into fine young men and women. Keep up the amazing work!

Bella 🙂

Night-time rituals

As I type this out, the usual bedtime saga is unfolding. Once initially tucked in, it goes something like this:

Child (it doesn’t matter which one, they all take turns): “MUUUUUUUUU-UUUUUUM!!!! Mummy!!”

Me: “Yes?”

Child: “I need to go to the toilet.”

Me: “Then go…”

Don't worry....take your time guys!

Off they toddle to the loo, usually causing the other siblings to appear from the darkness like ghosts emerging from an eerie mist, lining up at the toilet door to go themselves. After about ten minutes, they are all tucked up again….until:

Child: “MUUUUUUUUUUM!!”

Me: “What!?!?”

Child: “I need a drink!”

"I want it NOW!"

 

 

Numerous cups filled, distributed, emptied and returned to the sink. Later…

 

 

 

 

 

Child: “MUMMY!!!!”

Me: “What now?”

Child: “I can’t find teddy/blankie..”

Me: “You had it a minute ago, look under your bed!”

Child: “But I can’t find it”

Blanket?...Check!...Teddy?..Check!...BACK TO BED!!!!!

Light turned on, only to find the missing item in a very obvious place. Light off again.

Child: “Mum!!”

Me (and I’m sure you can imagine my tone of voice by now..): “Yeee-ees?????

Child: “I need to go to the toilet again”

The whole toilet ritual starts up again…back to bed they trundle…

 

"But Mu-u-um!"

Child: “MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!”

Me: “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???”

Child: “I can’t sleep!!”

Me: “I don’t care…its bed time!”

Child: “But it’s dark!”

Me: “It’s night time, it’s supposed to be dark!”

 

 

 

 

Twenty minutes later:

Child (sneaking up on  me from behind): *whispering* “Mummy…”

Me: “Uh huh?”

Child “I love you, Mummy”

Love you too, baby bears!

Kids. As much as they drive you insane, they can melt your heart in an instant.

Are your bed time rituals the same in your house?

Sweet dreams everyone!

Bella 🙂

 

Loving Hearts for Micah

Recently, a very good friend of mine shared some devastating news. Her three-year old nephew, Micah, was diagnosed with a rare and incredibly aggressive type of cancer.

To quote my friend about his updates“At this stage we don’t think it is in his bones or his head however the cancer has wrapped itself around the major blood vessels that supply blood to the lower half of his body. The cancer has also grown in and around his organs to such a degree that it is very difficult to get to. The only chance of operating is if the tumor shrinks to a manageable size. Given that this happens, the surgeons would have to be able to extract every cell of cancer from every single part of the body that it has spread to”

This is a very grim and emotion situation, so when I was told about a fundraising bid to raise money towards a top of the line Dyson vacuum valued at cost price of $700 ( in order to keep their house immaculate for his fragile immune system during high level chemotherapy/) and I felt compelled to spread the word as much as I can!

Micah’s family are holding an auction Wednesday 5th October, 2011, till Wednesday 12th October, 2011. You can find all the goodies donated to the auction on the Facebook page that has been set up.

If you are a wholesaler/retailer who can find it in their hearts to donate towards this worthy cause, please contact them at auctionformicah@gmail.com I can’t urge you enough to donate!

Alternatively, you can donate cash via www.paypal.com to auctionformicah@gmail.com.

Please support this little man. He needs as many positive and healing vibes as possible!

Good luck to the family!!

Much love,

Bella 🙂

Happy Father’s Day!

A quick shout out to all the deserving dads out there…. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!!

I hope you all have a fantastic day. Hope you all get spoilt, get a chance to relax, claim the remote, have a drink or two and enjoy your day!

A special shout out to my own husband, who works long hours but still get time to be the best dad ever! Our kids absolutely idolize you!

 

Happy Father’s Day to my own Dad and father-in-law…I bet the two of you are having relaxing days also. We will have to catch up later on!

 

 

 

Have  great day y’all!

Bella 🙂

The cutest things in life

It’s an old saying, but kids say and do the darndest things!

Last night for example, my eldest son and daughter played “karaoke”. I had hooked my laptop up to our tv unit and played my iTunes through the sound system while I was cooking dinner.

The kids quickly found some make-do microphones (my son had one made out of Lego blocks, and my daughter used the belt from her dressing gown!) and were dancing around the living room. My son was pretending to be Alice Cooper, singing “Poison”, and my daughter transformed into Brittney Spears, singing “Till the world ends”. While one was the main singer, the other was a back up dancer! It was hilarious to watch, but it had them exhausted…which equals an early night to bed (woohoo!)

 

 

 

My eldest son also turned six years old recently. He had his first party where school friends were allowed to be invited. Every so often at the party, he would come up to me, give me a hug and say “Thank you for the party, Mummy! It’s the best party ever!”

This is a kid who has trouble expressing his thoughts and feelings  in the past due to his speech and cognitive delay. They were a wonderful bunch of kids. Every parents loves to hear that their child has friends, and it brought a tear to my eye to see how accepting they all were of his limitations. It absolutely melted my heart to see him have such a good time!

So while my kids and I bump heads all the time, I love them with all my heart. But it’s moments like this that keep me smiling!

 

What have your kids done recently that you would like to share?

Bella 🙂

Hello world!

Well, may as well keep the generic title, its sums things up pretty clearly!

I have wanted to start a blog for so long, but never really knew what to write about, but really…what isnt there to write about?

I doubt this will get many followers, but who knows. For now, it will serve it purpose as an outlet for the many thoughts that pass through my mind…good, bad, and ugly. Am I an eloquent writer?? Pffft!!! Anyone who knows me will laugh over that notion!

I’m a mum to four kids, currently aged 5yrs (boy), 4yrs (girl), 3yrs (boy) and 21mths (boy). They are the light of my life, and the constant source of headaches. Am I perfect mum? Of course not!! Show me one that exists! But I could not imagine my life any differently. I can quote almost any cartoon movie backwards. Especially Finding Nemo, grr, NEMO!!! (he has been conveniently “missing” a number of times!) Im quickly running out of ideas for themed birthday cakes and have a Wiggles tape currently blasting in my car!

My eldest two have been diagnosed with global development delay. Their overall development age is somewhere between 2-3years of age. Its not a life time diagnosis, they are are expected to improve and “grow” out of it. Which is why we are constantly at appointments for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and pediatric appointments

My eldest son starts his first year of primary school tomorrow, neither one of us can wait. He CRAVES his friendships, structure and routine. Me…Im just craving a bit of silence!

My daughter starts kindergarten next week, however she is going into an Early Intervention Literacy Program. They only take 6 kids a year and its very intensive. I cannot wait to see results!

My middle son is in the process of getting diagnosed with GDD too, and will soon start various therapy as well. He will be starting in a new daycare next week, along with out youngest son. I don’t think house will have been this quiet in nearly 6 years!!!

The baby of the house has cystic fibrosis. His diagnosis was a TOTAL bombshell, but that is another blog. For those who don’t know what it is, it IS NOT muscle related…thats cerebal palsy you are probably thinking of. I would have to say that 90%of people I say this to get CF confused with CP.

Cystic Fibrosis affects mostly the lungs, mucus build up is a serious issue. His is not pancreatic-sufficiant, which means that his pancreas doesnt secrete enzymes, which are those goodies that break down fats in your food (see… I remembered THAT from Human Biology!! Just have had to re-learn most of it all over again!!) so he is on tablets to help him break down his foods.

His condition means three monthly visits to Princess Margaret Hospital for Children…4-5 hours drive away. Touch wood….he has only had one hospitalization, which was at diagnosis.

Everything has been a complete learning curve, how to do daily physio, diet, medications, learning BIG words and what they may mean for the family. My hips have certainly suffered from his high fat, high salt (overall, high energy) diet!

Now on to the main man in my life. My fiance. However, in 22 days, he will FINALLY become my husband! We have been together seven a half years, but had agreed early on a long engagement…then I fell pregnant. Then I fell pregnant again…and again…and AGAIN, so we decided we would wait until our youngest was old enough to get involved.

He works hard for his family, probably too hard at times. He can cook a mean barbie, loves his beer and is the life of any party. He will stand up for he believes in and back you up in a fight (so long as he is on YOUR side of course!) he is the quinessential Aussie bloke.

Sure, we have a turbulant relationship at times, we dont always see eye to eye, but I love him with all my heart and couldnt imagine my life with anyone else! I am counting down the days where we can state it in front of everyone.

Well, I think I have introduced myself enough. I have many more tales stored away to talk about…but thats for another day.

Night all

Bella